Times You Messed Up Cause You Didn’t Know These Pt. 2

Live*

Welcome Homo Sapiens, aliens, shapeshifters, samurais, nin— Oh we’ve been through this already, annndd I said the same line before too. Anyway, without any more greetings, I would like to jump right into whatever you’re here for.

LEVEL 1.5: Times You Messed Up Cause You Didn’t Know These PT.2

Let’s continue from where we left off.

Was it ‘Here’s your ULTIMATE SHORTCUT!?

1. Warm Sloth Smile. 

2.Conditional Eye Contact….’ yada yada.

No, it was ‘Ready for LEVEL 2? Yes? Before proceeding, say HELL YEAH and then click play (lol you looked funny when you did that).’

Did you do this? You’re not allowed to play this level until you do.

(Staff: Please leave the readers alone.)

But it’s like a booster. A head-start. They’ll get way ahead in their game by doing it!

(Staff: Please begin.)

Okay, under forceful conditions and against my will, I will now copy-paste the above again. Or more like the staff will. They deserve some credit after all.

(Staff: Is it the end of the world?! She’s giving us credit?!)

Here’s your ULTIMATE SHORTCUT!

1. Warm Sloth Smile.
2. Conditional Eye Contact.
3. Melted Taffy Last Look.

Let’s begin. *Dramatic drumrolls*.

Number 1, Warm Sloth Smile.

Easy, wear a blanket and start living with sloths. Done! 

Okay, okay, I’ll be awfully serious now because one of my staff member is showing me a knife. I wonder what they’ll do with it? Anyway, what’s a Warm Sloth Smile?

Let me or my staff copy paste a small example directly from the book. If you want to skip it and read the shorter version, well, just scroll down and ignore everything in the Italic font.

Just last year, my old college friend Missy took over her family business, a Midwestern company supplying corrugated boxes to manufacturers. One day she called saying she was coming to New York to court new clients and she invited me to dinner with her prospects. I was looking forward to once again seeing my friends quicksilver smile and hearing her contagious laugh. 

Missy was an incurable giggler, and that was part of her charm. When her Dad passed away last year, she told me she was taking over the business. I thought Missy’s personality was a little bubbly to be a CEO in a tough business. But, hey, what do I know about the corrugated box biz? She, three of her potential clients, and I met in the cocktail lounge of a midtown restaurant and, as we led them into the dining room, Missy whispered in my ear, 

“Please call me Melissa tonight.” Of course, I winked back, not many company presidents are called Missy! Soon after, I began noticing Melissa was a very different woman from the giggling girl I’d known in college. She was just as charming; she smiled as much as ever. 

Yet something was different. 

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Although she was still effervescent, I had the distinct impression everything Melissa said was more insightful and sincere. She was responding with genuine warmth to her prospective clients, and I could tell they liked her, too. I was thrilled because my friend was scoring a knockout that night. By the end of the evening, Melissa had three big new clients. 

Afterward, alone with her in the cab, I said,

“Missy, you’ve really come a long way since you took over the company. Your whole personality has developed, well, a really cool, sharp corporate edge.”

“Uh uh, only one thing has changed,” she said.

“What’s that?”

“My smile.” she said. Your what? I had asked incredulously. My smile, she had repeated as though I hadn’t heard her.

“You see,” she said, with a distant look coming into her eyes, “when Dad got sick and knew in a few years I’d have to take over the business, he sat me down and had a life-changing conversation with me. I’ll never forget his words. 

Dad said, Missy, Honey, remember that old song, I Loves Ya, Honey, But Yer Feets Too Big? Well, if you’re going to make it big in the box business, let me say, I loves ya, Honey, but your smiles too quick. 

He then brought out a yellowed newspaper article quoting a study had been saving to show me when the time was right. It concerned women in business. The study showed women who were slower to smile in corporate life were perceived as more credible.”

As Missy talked, I began to think about history-making women like Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir, Madeleine Albright, and other powerful women of their ilk. Not one was known for her quick smile. Missy continued, “The study went on to say a big, warm smile is an asset. But only when it comes a little slower, because then it has more credibility.” 

From that moment on, Missy explained, she gave clients and business associates her big smile. However, she trained her lips to erupt more slowly. Thus her smile appeared more sincere and personalized for the recipient. That was it! Missy’s slower smile gave her personality a richer, deeper, more sincere cachet. 

Though the delay was less than a second, the recipients of her beautiful big smile felt it was special and just for them.

There you go. If you read that, good. No? Damn, okay, I’ll tell you in short. The author had a friend when she was younger. She was known for her ‘Bubbly’ personality and ‘Contagious’ laughter. She was like a torch in the darkness. Like a sunflower swaying in a field, enjoying the sun. She was that one glimmer of hope, who made life worth living.

(Staff: The author said no such thing.)

She didn’t? Well, I felt she did.

(Manager: *whispering* She’s like the English teacher trying to explain why the poet used the colour red.)

I obviously, heard that. But I’ll ignore it for now. For the sake of my readers. 

Anyway, so this chick, author’s friend had to take over her father’s company when he died. Years later, when the author……gosh I’m tired saying the author. I’m gonna go with LL. It’s Leil Lowndes, btw.

So yeah, LL thought that her friend had a completely different personality that wasn’t suited to become a CEO of a rough company. When they met, she realized that in fact, her friend was very much competent and made her clients readily make deals with her.

She had observed her the entire time during the meeting but couldn’t point out what was different in her cheery friend. She literally was the same.

But she wasn’t.

Later when LL asked her friend about, you know, whatever, she said that the one thing that had changed in her was her smile. And LL thought, ‘Yo! Don’t you dare try to fool me. There was nothing different in your smile!’

Her friend further solved her doubt by saying that her father had made her sit down for this very smile.

He said that the smile, the same radiating and warm one she had, was more credible when it erupted slower.

When a smile comes a second late, it carries with it additional benefits. As LL states, It gives the personality a richer, deeper and more sincere cachet.

(Just In case: Cachet means the state of being respected or admired, prestige.

It also means a distinguishing mark or seal.)

Also, the person receiving it will feel that it is genuine and exclusively for them. 

Making them feel special. *Suddenly increasing speed of speech* And if they feel special, they have fallen into your trap. Now you can be as manipu-

(Manager: Stop, stop recording! Cut that out right now! Why was I dumb enough to think that Wacky might actually be serious for once!)

*With a smirk on the face*

Number 2, Conditional Eye Contact.

Intense eye contact. Non-breaking eye contact. You might have heard of these before. But this type of eye contact has different results on males and different on females.

Also depends on whether the male is with the female. Or the male is with the male. So where’s the postman? Lol. *Clears throat* Okay, and vice versa.

When personal matters are the main topic, females feel good by the attention presented to them. They feel heard and…I don’t know I haven’t tried it myself. But yeah, give intense eye contact when a woman is talking about something serious, that, is a good practice you can adopt. I give this type of eye contact to my professor all the time. Cause, you know, they’re supposed to know about the earphones hiding in my ears.

But if you’re mail (alright male , enough with the joke already) do not, DO NOT, do the same with men. Don’t give them the intense eye contact. They don’t feel the same as females. It feels….disturbing, I guess. Cause men are not that type. Listen to them and make them feel heard. That’s enough. Or else your intentions can be misinterpreted and they can feel threatened instead.

Number 3, Melted Taffy Last Look.

I can’t really explain this without an example. I can actually, but it’ll feel incomplete. So welcoming the example right from the book.

….more than normal with men on day-to-day communications and a lot more when talking to women. It broadcasts a visceral message of comprehension and respect. 

I have a friend, Sammy, a salesman who unwittingly comes across as an arrogant chap. He doesn’t mean to, but sometimes his brusque manner makes it look like he’s running roughshod over peoples feelings. Once while we were having dinner together in a restaurant, I told him about the Sticky Eyes technique. I guess he took it to heart. 

When the waiter came over, Sammy, uncharacteristically, instead of bluntly blurting out his order with his nose in the menu, looked at the waiter. He smiled, gave his order for the appetizer, and kept his eyes on the waiters for an extra second before looing down again at the menu to choose the main dish. 

I can’t tell you how different Sammy seemed to me just then! He came across as a sensitive and caring man, and all it took was two extra seconds of eye contact. I saw the effect it had on the waiter, too. We received exceptionally gracious service the rest of the evening. 

A week later Sammy called me and said, Leil, Sticky Eyes has changed my life. I’ve been following it to a T. With women, I make my eyes real sticky and with men slightly sticky. And now everybody’s treating me with such deference. I think its part of the reason I’ve made more sales this week than all last month!

See? And if you don’t already, means you didn’t read the above that I conveniently copy-pasted, and that you expect me to explain instead. Sigh, okay. That’s what I do anyway.

So basically, whenever the other person has stopped talking (make sure you maintain that eye contact when they’re talking too), don’t right away break the eye contact. Let it linger they’re in those dreamy and misty or maybe not-dreamy and not-so-misty, eyes.

When you do look away it’s as if you don’t want to. You’re reluctant. You don’t wanna let go. Like a mother parting with her child. Or a child parting with a toy. Just like our senior manager here, who still hasn’t gotten rid of his superman underwear.

(Everyone turns to look at the poor guy.)

(Senior Manager: She said she’ll pay me if I let her reveal that.)

(Staff: How did she even find out?)

Anyway, back to topic. You get it now, right? It’s called sticky eyes by the author.

And there, you just successfully completed LEVEL 1! Congratulations! Though only in theory. The practical exams are yet to commence. Start preparing, and apply the-blah blah blah.

Now, what’s next? The next level.

Share your progress in the comments or (look below)

Ready for LEVEL 2? Yes? Before proceeding, go to someone in your house (or call someone) and tell them you appreciate them and that you would like to gift them something. Then, gift them cucumbers. Cause no one in their right minds will expect cucumbers. No one in their right minds will gift one too. Record them too if you like.